AU Epilogue to Here Comes Baby: Promise Me
by missjustkeepwriting
Summary: They go to visit Reid. Angst-y AU Epilogue to my story Here Comes Baby; it can stand alone.


AU Epilogue to _Here Comes Baby_: Promise Me

A/N: I came really close to posting this as the actual ending, but then I thought I hadn't labeled it angst early on and couldn't possibly do that. Plus, it made me cry writing it. And then I debated posting it at all, but I thought I'd let you read the angstiness that sometimes rears its head.

"But, Daddy, I wanna see Papa," Charlotte whines as he drags her away from the nurses' station.

"Today's not a good day, Baby Girl," Derek relays.

"There hasn't been a good day in a long time," Charlotte shouts, stomping her feet.

"I know," Derek says, squeezing his eyes shut; he can't look at his daughter, he can't look at Emily's broken features, and he can't bear to think about his lover in the room down the hall.

"I want Papa back," Charlotte cries; her anger turning into tears, "I want him to come home with us."

"I do too, darling, I do too."

"Then why can't he? Does he not love us?"

That little question is all it takes for tears to sprout behind Derek's eyes, slither their way to the corner of his eyes, and trail down his cheeks. Emily's head is bent and he knows it must be because she's about to cry as well.

"You know Papa loves us very much, but he's sick, baby."

"Then he can get better, right?"

"No, baby, it's not that kind of sickness. You never get better from this kind of sickness."

"But he was okay on my birthday."

"Sometimes, Papa has good days but sometimes his medicine doesn't work and he becomes scared and mad."

"But Papa promised he'd be there on my first day of kindergarten; he promised, Daddy."

"I know, baby, and I know he really, really wanted to be there, but Papa wouldn't want you to see him so sick. When he feels better, we'll come visit him. And Mama and I'll be there on your first day of school."

"But I want Papa there and I want Papa to come home with us."

"I know, baby girl, I know," he says, scooping her up into his arms and burying his face in her curly hair. The bouncy strands absorbing his salt-water anguish. He can feel her tears on his neck. Emily sidles up next to them and wraps her arms around them both cocooning the three in a sorrowful pod.

"Here, go with Mama to the car," Derek whispers, handing the sniffling child to Emily.

"I'll phone you the moment he's lucid," Charlene, Spencer's nurse, says softly.

"That would be great," Derek thanks her.

He can still remember the day Spencer told him to do this. It was nearly a year ago when he walked into the master bedroom with Emily to find Spencer sitting on the end of the bed, his chin resting on his neatly-folded hands.

"I have to be admitted," Spencer says logically, but his voice still cracks outrageously.

"No, the doctor says that it's not as severe as your mother's, and we're here to support you."

Spencer chuckled, "They told my mother that hers wasn't that severe either in the early years. You know it spun out of control for her and quickly."

"I'm not putting you in a hospital, Spencer."

"I will if you won't; I won't subject Charlotte to this."

"If we're all here together, we'll explain it to her."

"Do you know the things my mother used to say to me, Derek? I was scared of my own shadow."

"We're not going to do it, Spencer."

"Just do it, until she's old enough to realize, until the doctors can help me control it."

"I'm not locking you away, Spencer, in some godforsaken place for you to rot because you don't think our daughter is capable of managing," Emily yells.

"Yes, Emily, she'll be able to handle the ridicule of her parents being in a nonconventional relationship and to top it off, her unnecessary parent is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic."

"You're not unnecessary, Spencer," Derek interjects.

"I…we can't do this without you," Emily says, wrapping her arms around Spencer's shoulder and letting tears fall on his clavicle.

"Maybe, when she's older, I can come home," he assures softly, laying a hand on Emily's cheek and kissing the top of her head softly.

"Schizophrenia research is growing by leaps and bounds," Derek adds and Spencer chuckles, "When it comes to your health, Pretty Boy, I do my research."

"Come here," Spencer says, and Derek takes his place on Spencer's other side. "No matter what I say later, I will always love both of you."

Derek shakes himself out of his memory and grimace-smiles at Charlene as he fills out the credit card information. He fills out some other paperwork and returns to the car. Charlotte has sobbed herself to sleep. Her little hiccups still evidence of her previous distress. Emily is biting her nails; a habit that has returned within the last year. Derek bats her hands away from her mouth and weaves their fingers together.

"I want him back with us so bad," Emily whispers, "Do you ever think he'll get better?"

"I hope so because I don't know if I can keep doing this."

"Do you think it's helping her or hurting her?"

"I don't know, but when he's lucid, I want to leave her here forever, but with our jobs we can't. Maybe, we could bring him home; hire a nanny and a nurse: people to play interference or let them be together. But this arrangement is killing all of us," Derek says, and they fall into a contemplative silence.

"Do you think he's right that having him home right now would make her life worse?"

"I don't know; all I know is this is the kind of pain I wanted to protect her from."

He pulls onto their street and the little girl stirs. She rubs her eyes and hiccups violently.

"Daddy, you promise Papa loves me no matter what."

"O baby, I promise Papa loves you more than anything in this world. He loves you to the moon and back and around the world."

"That's good."

"Never doubt it, sweetheart, never think your Papa doesn't love you," Emily soothes.

A/N: I love feedback, thanks! Thank you to Alexalovet, dcatt, eliana152, jenny crum, Pititenath92, and H.I. Fanfiction! I love hearing from you!


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